Red on the Head

[Yes…I should be working…but I believe when inspiration happens, you should jump. Because inspiration only happens on occasion. And I might forget…]

Since I write for a living, a lot of times, I have to shut out the rest of the world around me in order to concentrate. Over the years, I've gotten pretty darn good at this. I can be in the room with a group of people and not hear a word they've said if I'm in the zone.

I've been able to do this all my life. When I was a kid, I could sit in the living room with the family and read a book while they talked and watched television and I never heard a word. I just kept reading.

I've often joked with people I've worked with, "Just throw a shoe at me if you need something...'cause I won't hear you if you speak to me when I'm writing."

Sometimes when I'm writing or researching something, I'll plug in some ear phones and listen to Pandora. Then I really don't hear anything going on out side my office door. That's what I'm doing today. I just heard the Steven Curtis Chapman song, "His Eyes" – one of my faves. The lyrics are:

Sometimes His eyes are gentle

And filled with laughter,

And sometimes they cry;

Sometimes there is a fire

Of Holy anger,

In Jesus’ eyes.

But the eyes that saw hope in the hopeless,

That saw through the fault to the need,

Are the same eyes that look down from Heaven

Into the deepest part of you and me.

CHORUS

His eyes are always upon you;

His eyes never close in sleep.

And no matter where you go,

You will always be in His eyes, in His eyes.

Sometimes His voice comes calling

Like rolling thunder,

Or like driving rain;

And sometimes His voice is quiet,

And we start to wonder

If He knows our name.

But He who spoke peace to the water

Cares more for our hearts than the waves,

And the voice that once said "You’re forgiven,"

Still says "You’re forgiven" today.

Sometimes I look above me when stars are shining

And I feel so small;

How could the God of heaven and all creation

Know I’m here at all.

But then in silence He whispers,

"My child, I created you too

And you’re my most precious creation;

I even gave my Son for you."

(chorus)

Sometimes His eyes are gentle, and filled with laughter.

I guess I like that song so much because well, duh, it's SC-squared (Steven Curtis Chapman) ...but mostly because not only does it encourage me as a believer that God is always looking out for me, but it gives me a glimpse of who He is. He looks at me and laughs sometimes...in a good way. Like you look at your child and proudly laugh when she does or says something funny.

But the part that jumped out at me today is the part where the singer says he wonders how the God of creation could even know "I'm here at all…"

I wonder that sometimes myself. Sometimes it feels like He doesn't know I'm here. Like I'm all alone. But I know better. Deep down. But even with that knowledge, I can't help but share the feelings expressed in the song. How can He know I'm here, or care what I think and feel, or care that I had a bad day and I'm tired and lonesome and I have a headache and I miss my family and I'm tired of facing life alone and I have a zit…?

But somehow, amazingly, He does. How could he miss me when I'm screaming at the top of my lungs? Which I often find myself doing….figuratively mostly. It's like, sometimes, I think I have to work hard to get His attention. That if I don't do something bad or crazy or loud or funny or amazing…He won't know I'm "here at all…"

But He somehow, amazingly, does. I don't have to scream. I don't have to do anything bad. Or good. He created me, and He knows how many hairs are on my head, and how many freckles I have (I plan to ask for that number when I get to heaven) and what the future holds for me.

So why is it, that when I'm yelling at Him, trying to get His attention, He chooses to whisper? I think it's because He knows that if He whispers, I'll have to get close to Him to be able to hear what He's saying. And that's just where I should be. I've discovered that it's where I have to be.

And every time I remember that – I need to be reminded on an almost daily basis – He smiles.

"Sometimes His eyes are gentle, and filled with laughter."