I have. Lots of them.
Up until recently, I was seeing an endocrinologist in Savannah for my hypoparathyroid issues. Each time I went in, I was loaded up with questions. Hypoparathyroidism is rare; doctors don't know much about it, even the specialists. Heck, most doctors and nurses haven't even heard of it. I've just learned to say, "My parathyroids don't work." That seems to make the light bulb come on.
Each time I went to this dude, with all my questions in hand, I was just trying desperately to wrap my head around this disease and the treatment -- the ONLY treatment -- I have to use. I had questions about my symptoms...the fatigue and body aches...the terrible cramping. How long will I have to give myself these shots? Will the cramping ever stop? Should I be taking any other supplements? The list of questions was seemingly endless.
Each time, I was met with this pose...arms crossed. More often than not, there was the accompanying eye roll and heavy sigh. As if I was inconveniencing him with my questions. As if I was a complete idiot for asking in the first place. It made me feel very small and insignificant. But I stuck with the guy because no one else writes the prescription locally for the only medicine I can be treated with.
Now, he's decided he doesn't want to write the prescription any longer, and that I need to find another doctor. Now, mind you, I did stand up for myself and I'm fairly sure that he didn't like it. So I am waiting (I'm told it'll be a six-month wait) to see another endo in Augusta. I'm hoping I don't have to go off my meds while I wait, and that nothing happens in the meantime.
But away from that rabbit-chase...
The point I want to make here is this: I went into that relationship with a lot of respect for the doctor I was seeing. It was not reciprocated. At all. Not even a little bit.
It feels to me sometimes like some doctors seem to have been absent on the day they taught compassion. SOME doctors...not all. Those who have this particular form of amnesia don't seem to get what it's like to have to deal with the issues their patients face. Some of them just don't seem to care. It's just in the room, ask a few questions, throw out a prescription or treatment suggestion, and on to the next patient.
I wouldn't wish the stuff I have to deal with on anybody for more than a day just to learn 'em. But I'd love for that endo to have to deal with my symptoms, my pain, my fatigue...just for that one day. Hopefully, it'd kick his compassionator into gear, and get it to hummin' just right.
In the meantime, I have learned that when it comes to my symptoms, my pain, my fatigue...my chronic illness...no one is going to stand up and speak out on my behalf. I have to do it myself. And if I offend anybody -- including a medical professional -- then so be it. I am fighting here. And if you get splashed with a little perspiration, well, so be it.
And for cryin' out loud...uncross those arms, dangit!
