I recently adopted a cat, who's now almost 5 months old. I have named her Suki, which in Japanese means "beloved." I thought it was kind of a neat name.
I am a single woman, in my forties, and I have a cat. I do not own multiple cats. If that were the case, I wouldn't fight you in identifying me as a cat lady. I might even let you get away with calling me a crazy cat lady. But I don't have multiple cats. So don't even think about going there. Okay. It's out of my system now.
Cats are great snugglers. Everyone knows this. For those of us who are owned by cats, we know that they snuggle with us when they are good and ready to. Not a minute before or after.
As I snuggled with Suki the other night – we were watching a marathon of Addams Family shows which we both enjoyed tremendously – she suddenly sat up on my lap, cocked her head to one side, and just began to stare at me. I found myself wondering what could be going on in that little kitty brain of hers. So I found myself faced with the question: If my cat could talk, what would she say?
I decided instead to look at what she might say, but would really mean. That, of course, is more in line with the feline mandate…
Here's what I've got so far…
• I may appear to be independent, but I ask for your loving care and attention.
What she means: I am the boss. Serve me.
• I rely on you for my well-being more than you know.
What she means: Go out and make money to buy me things.
• I will not be a burden to you or demand more of you than you care to give.
What she means: The more attention you give, the more I will require. You may want to think about hiring me another slave.
• I will be a peaceful island of serenity for you to gaze upon, and a soft, soothing body to caress, and I shall purr with pleasure to rest your weary ears.
What she means: I will tear around the house at 3 a.m. and bite your mother when she comes to visit.
• I pray you will give me a variety of nutritious foods and fresh water.
What she means: I will require Evian, chilled, but not too cold. Any food you offer will be rejected for a much more expensive brand.
• I love to sleep. I pray you allow me a warm, sheltered place where I can rest peacefully and feel secure.
What she means: Don't you dare wake me. I know where you sleep, and I will get revenge. Scrape-the-skin-off-your-ankles-in-the-middle-of-the-night, claw-filled revenge.
• If I am suffering from illness, please care for me gently and see that I am treated by loving and competent hands.
What she means: I reserve the right to mangle the most expensive hands you can hire.
• If you treat me well, I will love you faithfully all my days.
What she means: I might accept you as my slave, if you behave yourself.
Yep. That's about right...
